Many parents aspire to raise bilingual children, believing that consistent language exposure at home will naturally lead to fluency. My husband and I were no different. We adopted the "one parent, one language" approach, thinking it would be a straightforward way to ensure our children mastered both English and Mandarin. However, along the way, we encountered unexpected challenges that ultimately shaped our understanding of bilingualism and language development in children.
The Initial Plan
Before our first child was born, we agreed that I would speak to our son in English while my husband would communicate with him exclusively in Mandarin. This seemed like a logical way to create a balanced bilingual environment. During their early years, our children responded accordingly—our son and later our daughter would reply to my husband in Mandarin and could generally understand both languages well.
Their pre-school also provided bilingual exposure, with both an English and a Chinese teacher present in the classroom. This reinforced our efforts and gave us confidence that we were on the right track.
Where Things Went Wrong
It wasn't until our older children entered primary school that we noticed a significant imbalance in their language proficiency. They were far more comfortable in English than in Mandarin. Upon reflection, we realized several factors contributed to this outcome:
Unequal Time with ParentsI was the primary caregiver for our children, especially during the seven years I was a stay-at-home mom. Naturally, they spent more time conversing with me in English, which reduced their exposure to Mandarin. Even though my husband consistently spoke to them in Mandarin, their interactions with him were less frequent.
School and Social InfluenceIn primary school, Mandarin was taught only during mother tongue lessons and character education classes. All other subjects were conducted in English. Additionally, most of their friends communicated in English, further reinforcing their preference for English in daily interactions.
Entertainment and Reading HabitsLooking back, we also neglected to prioritize Mandarin-language books. When visiting the library, we instinctively gravitated toward English storybooks. The cartoons they watched were also primarily in English, which further reinforced their language dominance.
By the time we recognized the issue, it was difficult to reverse. Our children had grown accustomed to speaking to me in English, making it hard to insist on Mandarin at a later stage.
Expert Insights on Bilingualism
Through discussions with friends and experts, we found that families who intentionally spoke to their children in their mother tongue had better success in fostering bilingualism. Former Chinese teacher and author Teo Ting Ting, who wrote Empowering Bilingual Connections, explained that while the "one parent, one language" approach can be beneficial, it has its limitations. The key factor is not just consistency but also the amount of time spent in each language.
Another expert, Dr. Sun Baoqi from the National Institute of Education, emphasized that children’s proficiency in their dominant language (especially if it aligns with the societal language) often develops through formal education, while their weaker language is largely influenced by their home and social environment. She highlighted the importance of actively using the mother tongue at home to reinforce language skills and shape children's attitudes toward it.
What I Would Do Differently
If I had the chance to start over, I would be more intentional about using Mandarin at home. Here are some strategies I would implement:
Equalizing Language Exposure: Ensuring that both parents have a balanced role in language interactions.
Prioritizing Mandarin in Daily Activities: Reading more Chinese books, watching Mandarin cartoons, and engaging in conversations in Mandarin as much as possible.
Creating a Supportive Environment: Encouraging friendships and playdates with Mandarin-speaking peers and seeking extracurricular activities that promote Mandarin usage.
Final Thoughts
Raising bilingual children is not as simple as assigning each parent a language. It requires deliberate effort, planning, and an awareness of the environmental factors that influence language acquisition. For parents striving to foster bilingualism in their children, consistency is key—but so is ensuring that the less dominant language receives enough exposure in everyday life.
Have you tried raising bilingual children? What challenges have you faced, and what strategies have worked for you? Share your experiences in the comments below!
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